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Author Topic: Fishy Politics  (Read 3218 times)

Bushwacker

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Fishy Politics
« on: August 28, 2004, 05:15:27 PM »

Copied from Outdoor Canada magazine...

Last fall when 5 federal cabinet ministers admitted to visiting the Irving family's fishing lodge in New Brunswick's Restigouche River, the nation gasped and declared its outrage over the apparent breach of ethics. Anglers however, had much bigger concerns. Namely, did the now former front-benchers at least catch anything? As with all fishing stories, getting at the truth required some rather, er, liberal reading between the lines.

Robert Thibault, ex-Minister of Fisheries and Oceans.
Official response : " The minister was just there for a meeting."
Translation : The minister worked several pools to no avail, at one point shouting at the fish, "Don't you know who I am ? You'll think the cod had a good time when I'm through with you !"

John McCallum, ex-Minister of Defence.
Official response : Didn't return our calls.
Translation : Despite clear instructions and numerous demonstrations from the guide, the minister was unable to complete a successful cast. He quickly grew frustrated and called in a Sea King helicopter to whisk him away. Word has it he's still waiting.

Allan Rock, ex- Minister of Industry.
Official Response : Didn't return our calls.
Translation : After catching only low-hanging pine branches, the minister turned to his guide and mused, "What would you think of a salmon registry, requiring the fish to register their eggs and milt before spawning ? It wouldn't cost a penny more than $1 billion. Honest."

David Anderson, ex- Minister of the Environment.
Official Response: " The Minister's office does not wish to be part of the story."
Translation : Having spearheaded Canada's participation in the Kyoto Protocol, the minister felt conflicted about accepting hospitality from the most famous oil family in the Maritimes.To atone, he got skunked on purpose.

Jane Stewart, ex- Minister of Human Resources Development Canada.
Official response: " It's not something we'd comment on."
Translation : The minister didn't catch a single salmon , even after assuring the fish that taking her fly would not disqualify them for unemployment benefits and that, indeed, it might earn them an unaudited development grant.


with due credit to Mark Schatzker for this article.
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