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Author Topic: nfr What is Wrong Here?  (Read 13912 times)

Chehalis_Steel

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nfr What is Wrong Here?
« on: February 05, 2016, 05:54:48 PM »

Ok I know this doesn't have that much to do with fishing, at least not directly. But what happened to me today does show the attitude problem that some people have, including those on the water. These individuals respond to the smallest thing you do that they think inconveniences them or shows disrespect towards them with hostility or a complete lack of respect towards you. In their world, people need to be respectful towards each other, but only when it is towards them, not the other way. This is the kind of attitude that starts fights on crowded rivers like the Vedder or on the Fraser Bars.

So anyway, I was in the parking lot at a grocery store in South Surrey sitting in the car reading my e-mails on my phone before going in. I had to park pretty close to the guy beside me because the other guy next to me had gone into my space a bit. This was the only available spot.

The next thing I know this enraged guy (a bit overweight and probably about 58-60) starts yelling and swearing at me for no apparent reason. He then starts to to try break into my car. Luckily I had the doors locked, thanks to the reputation the area has for car theft and assault. So I'm sitting there and I have no idea why the guy is doing this and I politely asked him what's up. He kept yelling and swearing, dropping f-bombs left and right without ever really trying to tell me why he's so mad. Besides the swearing, all I could make out was "get lost you maniac." Right...I'm the maniac here.

I finally figured out that he couldn't get the door of his truck open. I tried to politely apologize and explain to him that that I had to park so close to him because the guy next to me had parked too close to me. I also suggested that he could just climb in on the other side of his truck. He didn't even listen to me and had instead walked over to his truck and had started banging his door against the side of my car...which was doing more damage to his door than anything else because he was hitting the hard plastic edge on the fender of my car. Maybe he thought because I have an accent I couldn't understand English and that I could only understand a physical message.

I finally decided that this guy wasn't going to listen to my side of the story or get in on the other side of his truck; he just could not be reasoned with. So I backed out of the parking spot to give him room and he finally got into his truck and left. Why exactly he couldn't have just asked me politely to move or said nothing and inconvenienced himself slightly by climbing in on the other side of his truck and just shifting to the driver side (easy to do) I still can't tell. Two words would have been enough.

I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was having a bad day. I have plenty of those myself because of my health. I can forgive him for what he did but still, it was borderline assault and pretty over the top for the small mistake I made (arguably not even a mistake since there was nowhere else to park). I really think the guy would have attacked me if my doors had not been locked.

What do you guys think? Why didn't the guy at least listen to my side of the story or first just ask me to move if it really was impossible for him to walk to the other side of his truck and get in there? Does the small mistake I made give him the right to immediately start verbally abusing me and trying to start a fight and/or attack me?

Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to get some kind of idea if this kind of thing is common in Canada. I thought that Canada was all about preserving a just society. Maybe this is just a story   :-\

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Sandman

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2016, 06:19:09 PM »

Society has all kinds and Canada is no different.  The guy may be upset with you (if the other car was double parked in "your" space you should not have pulled in), but that does not in any way excuse his behaviour.  It was way over the top and criminal (vandalized your car), whereas your choice to park too close was just impolite.
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Noahs Arc

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2016, 06:22:07 PM »

Parking wars and road rage is alive and well in BC.
Obviously the guy is in the wrong for becoming physical, but.

I would never squeeze into a spot like you did because when the other car that encroached on your spot left, YOU would  look like the a hole. I don't believe you it was the only spot available.

The guy in the pickup shouldn't be parking as close to the building as possible and expect all the room in the world. Owning a full size truck comes with parking in the back 40 or expect to park in tight spots.

You make yourself sound very innocent here. I hope you took his plate down at least and called him in.


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Rieber

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2016, 06:54:04 PM »

Sorry but that's a dick move to park on a guys drivers side door. The guy could have had an injury or condition that prevented him from crawling thru the passenger side. Could have had a sore back or buggered knee or hip.

If you seen that you blocked the guy out of his vehicle, why didn't you proactively move your vehicle so he could get in before this escalated to where it did. Obviously you knew you were in the wrong. Obviously you remained in the vehicle and yes you did eventually move your vehicle but only when you felt convenient to do so.

The problem as I see it is you for trying to force someone to do something they didn't want to only because you caused a problem and you chose to try make someone do someonthing they should not have to do.

You're freakin' lucky the guy didn't smash your window out. You're even more lucky the guy didn't drag you out of your window and then proceed to hang a beating on you. Or even administer a 9mm sleeping pill behind your left ear.

Why pull that crap of blocking someones door? And then you wonder why a guy would be pissed at you when you block him out and then sit on your my friend not wanting to back out until things started to get ugly. You're lucky man. I could see how that could have ended poorly for you.

Here's a thought, what if the guy was in a hurry due to a family emergency? What if you stessed the guy out so much that he ends up with a heart attack because of your belief that your email is more important than someones access to their own vehicle. Why piss people off just because you feel like it.

Not cool dude.

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big_fish

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2016, 06:56:21 PM »

Sorry but that's a dick move to park on a guys drivers side door.

You can't read or are you just trolling again? The guy was already enraged before Chehalis_Steel noticed him.
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Rieber

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2016, 07:21:38 PM »

I'll bet the guy was pissed as he sees the car parked on his door. I'm not trolling - this doesn't impact me so I don't really care other than I recently had some ding dong park way to close to me recently and fortunately he had folding mirrors which I conveniently was able fold forward for him so I could open my door enough to squeeze in. Those that personally know me know that I need at least a half open door to get in. ::)

Anyways, if you needed to squeeze in, you should have started backing out for the guy when you seen him approaching so he could have gotten into his vehicle. But whatever - do what you want - I have no reason to care what you do.
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Knnn

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2016, 07:36:41 PM »

It takes 2.  A polite tap on the window asking for a little space would have been the human thing to do.
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Rieber

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2016, 07:43:58 PM »

It takes 2.  A polite tap on the window asking for a little space would have been the human thing to do.

You are 100% correct.
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Robert_G

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2016, 08:04:04 PM »

South Surrey

The only 2 words I needed to hear to understand the situation ::)
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Fish Assassin

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #9 on: February 05, 2016, 08:11:51 PM »

Two wrongs doesn't make it right. Like other posters I would have avoided parking in that space.
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Tylsie

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #10 on: February 05, 2016, 08:30:25 PM »

If you were between the lines of your spot than what is the problem? Ideally, a person parks in the middle of his or her spot but if they are between the lines then so what. He should of simply asked you to move. To me you did nothing wrong.   
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mikeyman

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #11 on: February 05, 2016, 08:36:40 PM »

I hate it when i get stuck and i cant open my door grrrr. Only asking for a big my friend dent in the door. I park as far away as i can. Walk a little not so bad. Wife went to doctors with our new born. Came back to a baseball dent in new car door. Claim deductable. No note left. Real nice. There are just as many % #@$! A*€£$#;&$÷ as there are genuine people. Makes you wonder.
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Burbot

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #12 on: February 05, 2016, 10:49:38 PM »

Far too many people on SSRI's. They are making people crazier over the last twenty years.
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Flytech

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #13 on: February 06, 2016, 07:19:38 AM »

I love all you guys giving him a hard time for being too close. I know for a fact all of you have done the exact same thing from time to time. The level of self ritiousness is unreal around here. The enraged guy is 100% in the wrong here, all it would take is a polite tap on the window and ask the guy for room. If you gave attitude after the polite tap, then he has every right to get angry.


I've been on both sides of this story, and I've made these same mistakes. Sorry it had to turn out so nasty Chehalis Steel.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2016, 12:16:31 AM by Rodney »
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RalphH

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Re: nfr What is Wrong Here?
« Reply #14 on: February 06, 2016, 08:21:52 AM »

Well Chehalis_Steel it sounds like you reacted fairly well in a difficult situation. Thanks for being candid.

I thought the major point was yeah maybe C_S shouldn't have parked there - and I do not and will not park that way - but why did the other guy have to go Ape S___ over nothing much? No one seems to have thought about the other jerk who parked their vehicle over the line in the first place.

It's also very easy to sit relatively safe in your car in such a situation and 'observe'. Many professional observers (ie cops and psychologists) have remarked how both the apparent safety of the car interior and the car as an extension of 'home and castle' contribute to incidents of road rage where as face to face people would be less inclined to over react and more inclined to de-escalate potentially violent confrontations. I kind of noted how you didn't react until he extended his behaviour to your vehicle.

My final conclusion: no one - and there were 3 people involved, acted particularly well. Situations like this happen everyday -what can we do to avoid them and minimize the outcomes when they do?
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"Two things are infinite, the Universe and human stupidity... though I am not completely sure about the Universe" ...Einstein as related to F.S. Perls.