Fishing with Rod Discussion Forum
Fishing in British Columbia => General Discussion => Topic started by: CALI 2 B.C. on September 10, 2009, 12:22:19 PM
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This is very frustrating to me.I have 2 young sons so i kind of understand why she doesnt like me gone much but ive had only 1 fishing trip basically all year.Before i moved up here to beautiful BC i fished in cali at least once a week.Caught numerious fish of many species.Im probably gonna sound stupid sayin this but i havnt caught a salmon since i got here in DEC of 2005 >:( Im losing my mind over this ready to just give up trying the few times i have been fortunate enough to go ive been skunked.I guess im just venting here but any advice of anything motivational would be greatly appreciated.She just doesnt understand the passion i have for fishing at least here on FWR sometimes i am able to get a lil fix on fishing so thank you rodney and all who make this site possible. CHEERS a dksgrunteled fisherman from california sitting in surrey wishin he was fishin.
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Man, I feel for you :(
Your lady need a hobby that she is passionate about and then maybe she can understand better your passion.
How about a camping trip next summer with the kids, combine it with fishing and get her and the kids( if not too young) hooked on fishing.
If all else fails... flowers, chocolates, more time spent with her (u know where), then time for you and fishing.
Wish I had more to offer but I'm sure others will chime in to help in your situation.
Also, does she have many friends to spend time with?
This also helps with the escape route.
Good luck with it.
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This is very frustrating to me.I have 2 young sons so i kind of understand why she doesnt like me gone much but ive had only 1 fishing trip basically all year.Before i moved up here to beautiful BC i fished in cali at least once a week.Caught numerious fish of many species.Im probably gonna sound stupid sayin this but i havnt caught a salmon since i got here in DEC of 2005 >:( Im losing my mind over this ready to just give up trying the few times i have been fortunate enough to go ive been skunked.I guess im just venting here but any advice of anything motivational would be greatly appreciated.She just doesnt understand the passion i have for fishing at least here on FWR sometimes i am able to get a lil fix on fishing so thank you rodney and all who make this site possible. CHEERS a dksgrunteled fisherman from california sitting in surrey wishin he was fishin.
Sounds like an internal issue that you should discuss with your wife. Sounds like you need marriage councelling :-\
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How old are your sons?
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2 and a half and 1 or they would go with me....
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You may have to wait a year or 2 then...
Get your boys hooked on fishing by starting them on catching as many fish as possible even if they are course fish and they'll be hooked for life. Your wife will then let you go fishing whenever you want then.... as long as you take the boys! ;D
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My first post here but this is an issue I have had to deal with...fishing, hiking, whatever I may want to do...
Wifey is not a fan of the outdoors in general and boy is 2.
My solution, get up at the crack of dawn, more like 4am, and get out for a few hours and be home by 10am or so. Also once or twice a month I get out for a daytrip dirtbiking or fishing etc...
This is the first year I have been into pink fishing and have been getting up early, out for a few hours, then back home. During fall/winter same thing for coho.
Outdoor things to me are a passion as well as healthy activities.
Anyways....I'm just waiting till my boy is a little older and he will begging me to take him and then maybe mom will come along to...
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My first post here but this is an issue I have had to deal with...fishing, hiking, whatever I may want to do...
Wifey is not a fan of the outdoors in general and boy is 2.
My solution, get up at the crack of dawn, more like 4am, and get out for a few hours and be home by 10am or so. Also once or twice a month I get out for a daytrip dirtbiking or fishing etc...
This is the first year I have been into pink fishing and have been getting up early, out for a few hours, then back home. During fall/winter same thing for coho.
Outdoor things to me are a passion as well as healthy activities.
Anyways....I'm just waiting till my boy is a little older and he will begging me to take him and then maybe mom will come along to...
Ha, good idea...slip out of bed early, be back and slip back into bed...get that fishy smell off you first ;D
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I feel for you too :(
Fishing has become a real passion for me and I don't know how I would handle not being able to do it on account of family issues. Fortunately for me my wife is understanding and she does venture out with me quite often nowadays. At one time she refused point blank to have anything to do with fishing but once I got her out there and showed her it can be fun she was less resistant to the idea. Part of the thing was me being willing to get involved with things that interest her too like gardening and golf. Neither of those are much for me but I found doing those quite enjoyable after a while so I guess it has to work both ways.
Its tough now but it will get easier when your boys grow up. In fact, you are lucky they are boys and not girls. Girls generally have zero interest in activities like fishing. I don't have kids of my own but I do have a nephew and a niece. Now my nephew is 8 I have way more fun heading out with him than I ever get going on my own. Think of your kids as a long term investment because you will likely find the fishing more rewarding than many of us later on when you can share the fun with them.
...sorry just my 2c worth. I don't know anything just that it often pays to meet one's partners wants too.
..and the pike minnow fishery is dynamite for kids.
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My 2 year old has caught a few already trout n sunfish.....but the problem is hes up and into everything by 7 lol.
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At least I get to go from time to time - but its my missus's birthday this weekend and she expects other plans :( - right it the midst of Pink season. :'(
But like Cutthroat stated - most of the times I am up before the crack of dawn to get ut a fish for a few hours while she sleeps in on the weekends... too bad the tides are against me this weekend. :(
But most importantly - if she's happy - then I'm happy! ;)
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My other solution is once a week my sister babysits for me for a few hours. So tomorrow I start work at 6pm and have my sister sitting @ 2pm...guess what i will be doing for 3-4 hours ;D
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here you go.
Brad Paisley - I'm Gonna Miss Her
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8O3Plt8DyMk
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Doh! :o
But then again - the rebuttal:
Aaron Lines - "It's Cheaper to Keep Her" :-\
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAQji0dWhhY
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Give her a compromise. She gets a day to go out with friends and you get a day to go out and do your thing. This way you both get a day. Problem solved!! If she is not understanding to this than well she is just being unreasonable and you need to put your foot down. Everyone needs "their" time. She needs her time and you need your time. Otherwise the marriage just wont work.
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Involve her in the trip. make it a day where you go out as a family for a picknick, do some fishing, spend some time with the family. I'm doing exactly that tomorrow ( i have a 4 month old and a 4 year old).
I also get out more often because I go at firest light and im back early enough that the day has just begun for her. That way She is really only awake with the kids for a couple hours in the morning, and then im home.
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Give her a compromise. She gets a day to go out with friends and you get a day to go out and do your thing. This way you both get a day. Problem solved!! If she is not understanding to this than well she is just being unreasonable and you need to put your foot down. Everyone needs "their" time. She needs her time and you need your time. Otherwise the marriage just wont work.
Good advice. If you put your foot down and she steps on it you have a problem though...
BTW...your kids aren't too old to take fishing. My two year old boy was catching fish before his second birthday and my four year old daughter caught her first bullhead when she was two and a half :)
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I wish i had family near me i probably would have no trouble goin out she doesnt have much family close tthat doesnt work.We are currentlt in negotiants for me to go out early for a few hours in the morning meaning if im lucky enough to go out i will be trying to stay close to surrey to maximize my fishin time.i honestly usually go to the vedder,which holes around me would be the best bet? thanks for all the feedback guys
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i should spell check before posting ;D
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I put my boys in both chest and back packs and went for some light fishing numerous times. At that age they would love just staring into the water, watching the dippers on the shore (little birds), listening to the sounds....its was a great time for them. I think by age 3 they were too restless and would be climbing out of the back pack within 20 minutes. At least if you can take one then she doesnt feel like ya ditched her with your kids.
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You should consider looking into the fishing opportunities in Surrey. It's a much easier sales pitch to get away for two hours and fish locally than it would be take off for an entire day and drive out to Chilliwack.
Does your wife like eating fish? I've personally found it is always easier to get out onto the river when I've been bringing home fresh fish. If you get skunked you could always stop off at Save on Foods, buy some fish and put it into a fish bag and pretend like you caught it. :o
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Its easier to get forgiveness than permission. Just go ;D
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i think bb2000 hit the nail right on the head ,marriage has to be give and take by both sides,a man needs his time to himself just as much as a women needs some time to her self wether or not there are kids involved,just because a peson is married with kids doesnt mean a guy has to stop doing what he or she loves to do even though being married and having kids does limit a persons freedom ,its all about compromise,i know i have a wife and 4 kids myself and as long as there has been compromise i fish and hunt pretty much were and when i want.
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What compromise? i hunt and fish whenever I want. 8). Happily married for 25 years, ;D
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What compromise? i hunt and fish whenever I want. 8). Happily married for 25 years, ;D
When you coming down here Tad. We need to get some fishing in. Milo is back this weekend.
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I think the early morning strategy works the best for a lot of people I know, we get out there by 6am, fishing until around 8 or 9, and then they head home (I get to stay, the pleasures of not being married yet) . They usually have days where they take the kids too though and their wives get to go out, this way its a win-win for everyone.
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Just tell her no fishing then it's sex four times a day. ;D Or tell her your booking a few guided trips with April. ;D ;D
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Its easier to get forgiveness than permission. Just go ;D
lol.lol.lmao. Too funny! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
i do that sometimes ;)
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What compromise? i hunt and fish whenever I want. 8). Happily married for 25 years, ;D
Have you met your wife's boyfriend yet? jk. :) ;)
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Involve her in the trip.
I dragged the whole family to Sooke Harbour for a 'vacation' because the townhouse/condo rentals + charter were a really good deal.
I made sure she had a tidal license with salmon tag so that she could catch crabs. mmmm crabs from the dock.
I went out on a fishing charter at 6am, came back at 9am and got my wife and 3 year old son to come out and fish for pinks for a few hours.
"FISH ON DADDY!" "FISH ON MOMMY!" as my little boy reeled in his limit of pinks.
Now she understands why I like to go fishing, but doesn't understand why I came home empty handed all summer from trips out to the Vedder.
I had to explain that it's called 'fishing' not 'catching' haha.
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Heck, I'm no therapist but my gut is that it's not about the fishing. The fishing is just a red herring (no pun intended) and there's something deeper, something else, going on in your relationship. All your efforts to negotiate fishing time won't get at the heart of the issue. All behaviour makes sense; find out what's behind hers and why.
And that you referred to her as your "old lady" is kind of a red flag too...
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Heck, I'm no therapist but my gut is that it's not about the fishing. The fishing is just a red herring (no pun intended) and there's something deeper, something else, going on in your relationship. All your efforts to negotiate fishing time won't get at the heart of the issue. All behaviour makes sense; find out what's behind hers and why.
And that you referred to her as your "old lady" is kind of a red flag too...
Doc Clarki. Getting to the root of the problem. lol. I married into a fishing family so I got lucky there. I also have a 11 mon old which has been strapped to me for over a dozen fishing adventures allready. I'm sure your wife does not know what fishing means to you and how it soothes your soul. The mind shuts down and its just you and the relaxing sound and look of the water. Everyone needs to switch the brain off once in a while. It sounds like she may be a bit needy. Not sure if there is an easy way of doing it but you will have to be strong and let her know that you need to get out min twice a month. Plan in advance and compromise like others have said. Keep the communication lines open. Show her the thread ! :o
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LOL ok i found a few responses amusing to say the least.... {this is his GIRLFRIEND} no not married lol
I have no problem with him going fishing if I got to go sometimes {and not just to keep the kids outta the water and happy}
if he would show some interest in what I like or want to do
if he wouldnt leave with the house in a disaster and pulled his weight around here
if when he says he wants to fish until noon he shows up ontime and not at 4pm
if he left at 4am not 8am lol
If he paid me lol
If he spends time with us rather then on video games when he is home
If he gets the ring ive been HINTING at for the past 3 years lol
There are always 2 sides to every story lol and thankyou for recomending the song "Im gonna miss her" try "would you like fries with that " by tim mcgraw. LOL Happy fishing boys ;D
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Give her a compromise. She gets a day to go out with friends and you get a day to go out and do your thing. This way you both get a day. Problem solved!! If she is not understanding to this than well she is just being unreasonable and you need to put your foot down. Everyone needs "their" time. She needs her time and you need your time. Otherwise the marriage just wont work.
Spoken like a champ.
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Well Mr. Cali - Miss Cali has set out some fine points (always 2 sides to a story - and somewhere in the middle is the truth ;) ).
Seems like most of the points that she brought up are quite easy to work on. As pointed out by other members, a relationship involves work and compromises on both sides. It generally takes two to 'Dance' and if done right, can lead to some beautiful 'Waltzes' or even a great 'Tango'. ;D
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if I got to go sometimes {and not just to keep the kids outta the water and happy}
if he would show some interest in what I like or want to do
if he wouldnt leave with the house in a disaster and pulled his weight around here
if when he says he wants to fish until noon he shows up ontime and not at 4pm
if he left at 4am not 8am lol
If he paid me lol
If he spends time with us rather then on video games when he is home
If he gets the ring ive been HINTING at for the past 3 years lol
So Cali, pay some attention to your lady, stop being a slug, keep your word and your fishing woes are solved. See, it ain't about the fishin'... ;)