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Author Topic: I thought I was fine with this, but this is still hard.  (Read 2317 times)

Big Steel

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I thought I was fine with this, but this is still hard.
« on: August 20, 2006, 09:32:25 PM »
Just recently got word that my Dad's ashes have been put to rest back in Nova Scotia.  I felt fine about this the last little while knowing that my Dad is no longer suffering from liver cancer.  KNowing that he is in a better place now free of pain.  Also that he left knowing that his whole family loved him.  But upon looking at the pics of his final resting place, feelings have again arose that I am having a hard time dealing with.  Then main one being that no matter how much I tried, I couldn't be at his side before he passed.  Infact, I didn't get to see him for the last 7 years of his life.  This is still eating at me badly as I loved my Dad so much and never really got to say goodbye.
 Anyhow, I will just go on and hope that this fades and remember what I already know.  He isn't hurting anymore.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2006, 09:55:38 PM by Big Steel »
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scruffy

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Re: I thought I was fine with this, but this is still hard.
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2006, 09:38:30 PM »
i know how you feel as i also had a close family member pass away as well,just remember all the good times together  :)and it will get easier as time passes.
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Fish Assassin

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Re: I thought I was fine with this, but this is still hard.
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2006, 09:56:21 PM »
As Scruffy said, remember the good times. Memories may dull but it never fades away. I lost my mother about 9 years ago and I still think of her every day.
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searun17

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Re: I thought I was fine with this, but this is still hard.
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2006, 10:08:48 PM »
Iknow What You are Saying Dude,But having gone through this with my mother a couple years back Who I didn't see very  often maybe once a year,i was able to be with her the last 4 days of her life and let me tell you after i saw what she had to go through in the last 4 days ,because it wasn't pretty i think if i had to do it over again i might not want to see the pain and suffering she went through,especially considering she was so drugged up that i don't think she knew we were even there,the way i figure it Dave that your father knew how much you cared and as long as you remember him he will allways be there with you,trust me Dave he is watching and making sure his family is OK,how else do you explain all these fish you have been getting,because it sure isn't do to your skill level. :)
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drift

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Re: I thought I was fine with this, but this is still hard.
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2006, 10:23:32 PM »
I'm not feeling too hot myself,my grandpa passed yesterday.He made my grandma breakfast,went to the bathroom,never came out.I cant go to the funeral where I feel I should be there.Try not to let it eat you up buddy.I know losing your dad is a lot worse but I understand how you're feeling.Just keeping busy is helping somewhat but if I sit for any length of time,memories come rushing back and I feel down.Hang in there,I know I'm trying. :)
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Xgolfman

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Re: I thought I was fine with this, but this is still hard.
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2006, 08:16:00 PM »
I lost my Dad a few years ago and was in the same boat. He died of Huntingtons which is a bastard disease. I grew up in Michigan and that's where he died. I didn't go back at the end either. Some how I had convinced myself that if I went back that would be like the literal kiss of death, felt the longer I stayed away the longer he'd live. Another part of it is you hate seeing your Dad, (mine was 6'3 very cool, war hero and my hero) turned from that into a shadow of his usual self..Not how I wanted to remember him...So i talked myself out of going home and of course regretted my decision ever since. I just have to remind myself he knew I loved him and respected him and know he felt the same for me...When you get a chance go back and have a talk with him at where they spread his ashes and put it all to rest.
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