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Author Topic: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.  (Read 5309 times)

jetboatjim

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Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« on: July 23, 2007, 05:17:55 PM »

Would you do this? Would you buy stuff(collected by someone their whole life) at a extremly discounted rate?
Like if you had a friend that did really well for him self, only to fall into the drug trap, and start selling his fishing gear, is it cool to go to their place and take advantage of them.
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Flycastin

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2007, 05:34:20 PM »

I did have a friend that fell into that trap. At first, I though they were just downsizing- cause they moved to a cheaper place and sold me some nice artwork, their large BBQ and such - at a nice price. After I bought about $1000 worth of their stuff, rumours were comming back to me that my friends got into smoking the crackpipe. Well I asked and they denied it - just said they were cleaning up their bills and such. So eventually I kept trying to call them and they wouldn't answer their phone, stopped comming by..and it was quite obvious.

Eventually, after 2 years, they cleaned up their act and fessed up to what was going on. We cried over a bottle of wine, they got help and have been clean for 3 years.

AND I gave them back all their stuff, without asking a dime. One picture was an original that her mother had painted - and that really hit home with her. I just wish they would have come to me with their wedding rings, instead of pawning them, since they won't get them back.

Your not a scumbucket if you buy a friends stuff whos on the pipe - your an ENABLER. You are allowing them to purchase more drugs.

Although I enabled them to buy more drugs, I actually felt that I was helping them out cause I knew they were going to get their stuff back eventually. And they did. They kicked themselves in the *** for loosing the artwork.  I felt it was a duty to buy the sentimental artwork cause eventually they would get it back if it was in my hands.

But I said to them I would only do that ONCE. They burned a bridge and its going to take them a long time to build it again.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2007, 05:39:15 PM by Flycastin »
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younggun

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2007, 06:04:26 PM »

U'd hate to do it but they need it, help them out and get them some help. Rehab or if u have to then i guess get them to turn themselves in. Stop it quickly, dont let it get out of hand. Cus once u start owing money or favours, and u cant give it to them, then ur in some serious trouble.
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Fish killer 101

Fish Assassin

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2007, 06:34:16 PM »



AND I gave them back all their stuff, without asking a dime. One picture was an original that her mother had painted - and that really hit home with her. I just wish they would have come to me with their wedding rings, instead of pawning them, since they won't get them back.


Kudos to you for what you did. Not many people would do that. As to whether you are taking advantage of your friend selling off their worldly goods at discount prices, it's quite a dilemma. If you don't, others will and probably at rock bottom prices. As others have already said, I would try to convince them to go into rehab.
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MERC

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2007, 09:44:34 PM »

Would you do this? Would you buy stuff(collected by someone their whole life) at a extremly discounted rate?
Like if you had a friend that did really well for him self, only to fall into the drug trap, and start selling his fishing gear, is it cool to go to their place and take advantage of them.

Good question. 

Here's another one.  What do you do to try to help your friend get over it?  Fishing gear is just stuff.  Friends, and especially good friends are irreplaceable.  If your friend is so far gone that there's no turning back for him and he's just waiting for the final fix that sends him over the edge, then buy the gear and give him way more than it's worth.  It'll be quicker that way for him in the end.  Or, if he's just falling into the trap then do everything you can to get him out.  Hell, you'll spend more money helping him than buying his gear.  If he can be saved, then you've been a friend.   Or, if he keeps getting himelf deeper into the stuff, you can still be there for him...or not.  Whether you buy his stuff or he pawns it out, it gets sold for cheap to someone.  That's why I don't really buy the enabler argument that some have made.  Yes, you give him money for his gear so he can buy drugs.  The government will at some point give him welfare so he can buy drugs.  Or he does a B and E to get stuff to sell so he can buy drugs, or sells his body, whatever to get cash to buy drugs.  As a friend ( or possible ex friend)  and a fisherman, at least you'll appreciate the gear more and maybe bring back some good memories you can hold onto.  And if he manages to kick the habit, you saved some gear for him down the road.  Been down that road before.  Some tough calls are going to have to be made at some point....

Good luck with your choice.
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BladeKid

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2007, 01:04:22 AM »

Would you do this? Would you buy stuff(collected by someone their whole life) at a extremly discounted rate?
Like if you had a friend that did really well for him self, only to fall into the drug trap, and start selling his fishing gear, is it cool to go to their place and take advantage of them.

Definately not! You would be feeding the addiction.
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rln

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2007, 07:20:32 AM »

Would you do this? Would you buy stuff(collected by someone their whole life) at a extremly discounted rate?
Like if you had a friend that did really well for him self, only to fall into the drug trap, and start selling his fishing gear, is it cool to go to their place and take advantage of them.

buy it all. If he ever turns his life around you can sell it back to him at a similar price and both of you will be better off because of it. 
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adriaticum

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2007, 10:01:05 AM »

If you don't buy it, he will sell it to someone else.
If you buy it, you will give him money for drugs.
They key to dealing with people with addiction is not to give them a choice, but to make good choices for them.
Only after they are proven clean and proven that they can resist the temptation can you allow them to make their own choices.
Depending how close you are, you may decide to act or leave it up to the state.
Good luck!
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minnie-me

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2007, 11:01:15 AM »

Buy all his stuff as cheap as you can and give him the opportunity to buy it back at the same price, maybe a piece at a time or something. If he spent his life working on attaining this collection by you buying it from him is the only chance he will ever have to get the stuff back.

Either way the moneys going to drugs. If you have a problem knowing that, you better just walk away now.

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jetboatjim

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2007, 02:19:32 PM »

I never did even think about buying the stuff but some guys did, and boy did they chisle him. I  just cant respect some friends that could take advantage of someone like that.

I dont think this friend will ever recover, he's very deep now. It is sad to lose a mentor/Friend and near big brother.
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minnie-me

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2007, 02:35:39 PM »

If you don't think there is a chance he will turn things around stay away from the stuff it is tainted, you would never be able to hold it / apprciate it like you no doubt do with "your" current equipment.

Just be there for him as best you can, really sorry to hear about your buddy, hope he gets better.
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Thrasher

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2007, 02:52:03 PM »

  If your friend is so far gone that there's no turning back for him and he's just waiting for the final fix that sends him over the edge, then buy the gear and give him way more than it's worth.  It'll be quicker that way for him in the end. 

that has to be nearly one of the craziest things i have heard in a while.

basically, give him enough extra money to do himself in? not cool if you ask me

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coryandtrevor

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #12 on: July 24, 2007, 04:02:44 PM »

I never did even think about buying the stuff but some guys did, and boy did they chisle him. I  just cant respect some friends that could take advantage of someone like that.

I dont think this friend will ever recover, he's very deep now. It is sad to lose a mentor/Friend and near big brother.

I understand JBJ, I have a close family member that is in the same boat as we speak. Its frustrating to watch. All the support is there but they choose to take the dark road regardless. Shame on the people that hosed him for his stuff. That is very weak of them. I don't know if you have tried it but having his buddies and loved ones together in one place to do sort of an 'intervention' might help but again, we have tried with our person and some people have crossed the river for good.

Sorry to hear that JBJ,


CandT
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shrek

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2007, 04:16:46 PM »

boy Jim that guy sounds like a guy I friend of mine, But it was the other way around.  The borrow 20 bucks to pay day or help him do a side job and get stiffed on the profit.
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river walker

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Re: Taking advantage of someone who is down and out.
« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2007, 04:22:00 PM »

As a recovering addict myself, who has sold things in the past, I would'nt think of doing such a thing!  I know that some peoples bottoms are alot lower than others and thankfully mine were not as low as somes !  Ive seen people do some shitty things for drugs and ive seen some real bad drug addicts clean up! I have also seen people fall back harder .
I understand the sciences of addiction and even if you are not using for long periods of time and pick up again it's ALWAYS worse than where you left off ..it's a progressive illness!
I would'nt wish it on any one ,not even my worst enemy!  
one day at a time ... if im having a bad day i take it a second at a time!  my advise to family members and friends of addicts is to offer all the love and suport you can till they hit bottom , DO NOT give money !  I would'nt be alive today if it wasent for my family and friends lovesupport and understanding that addiction isnt a choice that i made consiously
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